Rejection

One of the hardest things humans have to suffer as social beings is rejection. If you have ever been excluded from a game on the playground or been told no by your crush, you know how it feels. Rejection makes you feel like you are not good enough, and you will never BE good enough. Rejection is nothing but a concept, yet it has the power to make you feel little and powerless. It makes you feel embarrassed for trying, makes you afraid to make yourself vunerable again. It knocks the motivation out of you like a big exhale. Rejection sounds like laughing, cold ironic laughing as you hang your head in shame.

I know because this evening, a scholarship rejected me. It felt like a rug had been taken from under my feet and I was falling without a parachute. All that promise, the promise of getting into my top school with enough money to make sure my parents wouldn't have to worry slipped out of my hands like a pool of water. I watched it slip away, wishing that it was just a dream, just a horrible dream. I reread the email three times exactly, to see if they meant it. They had thanked me for applying, reminding me that not all the finalists make it, to keep at it because I was a competitive student. All I could read was the smack: No.

I felt stupid. I felt like a failure. I felt embarrassed. I thought of the people I had to say I failed to. I thought of the brilliant girl who had gotten my spot. I tried to come up with the clear reason I had failed. I cried. I cried a lot. I felt like a stupid loser.

Remember the day you got into Uni? How when you opened the crisp, white envelope and read accepted, didn't you feel brilliant and powerful? I remember. A Tuesday afternoon. I opened it, read it, and danced right there on the driveway. I felt smart. I felt like a success. I felt proud. I called everyone I knew. I liked the way their gasps of joy sounded in my ear. They sounded like a victory march.

Tonight though, I thought of the sixth grade girl who didn't get accepted into Uni. The girl who would have had my spot. I don't know what she looks like. If she is tall, short, brave, cowardly, mean, nice, my likeness or opposite. All I can imagine was how she felt. How she felt stupid. How she felt like a failure. How she felt embarrassed. I bet she thought of the "brilliant" girl who got her spot. I bet she tried to come up with the clear reason she had failed. She might have even cried. She might have cried a lot. And she might have felt like a stupid loser.

Rejection's a funny thing though, because it holds so much power but it never lasts. Remember that game you had been excluded from or that crush who said no? You might remember, but you still don't feel the scathing burn. You might feel a twinge of sadness, or nostalgia, or even humor. But failure? No, you don't. You won't feel that. Because rejection can't define who you are. It can't because it doesn't have enough strength to define you. Just like sadness can't, or anger, or even happiness. You are you, and it's up to you to write your definition. Rejection's like drinking hot chocolate too soon. It burns, it hurts for a while, but in the morning the bad feeling is gone and all that is left is you once again.

You will be rejected in life, because life is imperfect. Rejections will happen just as much as joys, trials, and tribulations will happen. Next year, when you apply to college, remember that rejections will burn. They might make you cry. But you are smart. You are a success. You should be proud. Because rejections don't mean a thing in the grand scheme of things.

I hope you believe me. If you don't, I pray that you will find your answer to how to deal with life's obstacles. I also hope that you celebrate all your successes, because they matter so much more.

-Celinda :]