First Rejection Letter

Yes, sadly the last post has to be followed by this one.

On Friday, one week after I received my Pitt letter, I received a very different kind of letter. It wasn't for a university, just for a major scholarship program. The program was for low income students who have succeeded in their academic endeavors. I was rejected. It sucked.

The program said, "We are sorry to inform you that you are not a finalist. The application pool was very strong this year." At first I was fine with it. Or I at least acted fine with it. I laughed and joked, said I was happy because I wouldn't have to fill out six apps by November 1st, but I knew that wasn't true. I had spent hours on that application. I wrote two 500 word essays and one 800 word essay. Sent each of them through 5 different drafts; all to be rejected.

As I sat staring at email on my phone once I got home, I really just started to feel bad. I mean they said, "For low income students who have succeeded in their academic endeavors." I could help but focus on the second half of that sentence. Does this mean I haven't succeeded in my academic endeavors? Am I a failure? I must have laid in my bed for an hour and a half, headphones in, trying not to tear up as those words burned hotter and hotter in my mind, like a iron brand, labeling me; "Failure".

I had the ACT the next day and really didn't want this on my mind. I sat trying to review the rules of semicolons and commas yet couldn't shake that feeling that it didn't matter. I wasn't good enough for them, wasn't successful enough for them, so why should this ACT matter? Then it hit me all at once, who is this organization to define me as a student? Who is some organization in California to tell me that I'm not successful as a student? I know who I am and what I am capable of. I know I will succeed without this scholarship program, despite the fact that it was a lot of money. I went to bed then, with a feeling of rejuvenated potential. I am my own person and I will not let the college process define me.

The point of this was to let you guys know what it is not fun to get rejected. It makes you feel small and insignificant. The fact of the matter is that you have to get past this. You are your own person, you've made it this far and I promise you will keep going. One rejection letter isn't going to stop us, because we are some of the brightest students in the nation, and I'll be damned if anyone wants to argue otherwise. So keep pushing forward guys, I promise you will all make it.
- Joey