Tired?

I kind of feel like I could sleep for the next seven years. I am really tired. And in my tiredness, I am panicking. Is that how you spell it? I can't even spell anymore!!

All summer, I have been Pollyanna, giving you advice and stuff. The other day though, Lisa reminded me that I can vent and panic and be excited and joyous all at once on this blog too. Because this process is insane. There, I said it. It's like Cruella de Ville eating pot brownies injected with steroids. Who in their right mind would create such a convoluted system?? There are like five different tests (PSAT, SAT, ACT, TOEFL, SAT Subject tests...LMAO, PMS, LOL, WTF). Then, there is the Common App. OH JOY! Life got simple! Oh wait, not all colleges are signed up to it. &*&%&#%@*(^*&# it.

Then, forget college. There are SCHOLARSHIPS. College is like buying a house. Really, it's just like that, because it costs the same freaking amount as a house. But that's like ten other things to apply to. What if you don't get them? Do you get the house? I mean college? I want the house/college!!!

But sometimes, I feel so in control of things. Yes, I am filling things out! Yes, I got a recommendation in progress! Yes, I have college visits! NO, I don't have all my college visits! No, I haven't signed up for scholarships!

Okay, deep breath.

Why am I publishing this rant? Because, I want you to know that I am so far from happy go lucky in this process. One reason is that I feel unprepared for it. That's what I want to help you with. The other reason is that I am terrified, and I don't want you to think that I am Pollyanna, who knows everything. I don't. Did Pollyanna know everything? I actually don't know who she is. Doesn't she sound so darn happy though? Why is she happy? HOW CAN SHE BE HAPPY??? COLLEGE GAHHHH!

I'm going to go sleep now. AGHHHHHHHHH....